Pulling Away from the Pack

Although I was a cross-country runner in high school, by age 38 I couldn’t run a mile.  Not to mention I was prone to illness, looked unhealthy, and everything around me reeked of smoke.  While I found little pleasure in cigarettes, every attempt to quit ended in failure.

During the spring of 2003, my best friends were expecting their first child.  I decided to mark the birth of their son as the catalyst to quit smoking. Making this known to my non-smoking friends gave me focus.  Having found the impetus for quitting, I still needed to unravel the physical, psychological and emotional entanglements of my addiction.  My strategy to deal with the physical addiction was to use nicotine gum, but the more difficult task would be the social and psychological aspects. For this I had to make a tough, but necessary decision. That decision was to avoid anyone who smoked. Sadly this included friends I’d known my entire life.

Lastly I‘d have to deal with the emotional dependency and stress.  Having recently lost my job I chose to confront the stress head-on.  With my plan in place I began the journey to get healthy.  The nicotine gum helped me with the physical withdrawal, but the slightest hint of boredom had me scrambling to fill the void.  Despite my best efforts to stay busy, I ate a lot more food and I gained 15 pounds in less than a year! Not great, but I wasn’t smoking.

By early 2004 I’d found a job.   Each day I walked to and from the train to work and every day after lunch. This led to longer and more difficult hikes on the weekend.  Eventually I started thinking about trail running.

My initial return to running consisted of walking up a local canyon road and running down an adjacent trail. For the first half dozen attempts I could only jog about two miles in short bursts.  Within a few months I was able to run up and down the trail, only walking the hills.

By the fall of 2005, I decided to try an organized run and registered for a local 6K Turkey Run.  I was really nervous and full of doubt; my only goal was to finish.   As the starting gun fired, the pace caught me off guard and I was pulled forward by the energy of it all. My lungs felt like they were on fire, my legs like lead, but I hung on to the end. I knew at that very moment I was never going back to smoking.

Over the next two years I entered several low-key races where I was fortunate enough to place top three in my age.  I attribute those small victories, and the camaraderie of the other runners, to my continued motivation.  It was no longer about smoking — it was about running. I’ve since moved on to more difficult races.  While I don’t place well at these events, I continue to improve as an individual, allowing me to explore longer routes on beautiful trails simply for the joy of it.

I’m a trail running and snow-surfing enthusiast from Salt Lake City. When I’m not hitting the trails or the backcountry slopes I’m composing music and taking photos.  In 2011 I set a goal to race every month and complete an ultra marathon.  Thus far I’ve completed eleven of fifteen planned races and finished the Speed Goat 50K in 9:37:29.  I currently tip the scale at 175lbs and I haven’t picked up a cigarette in a long time.